Can God Show Us Who To Marry?

I could write an entire book about this.! This belief has been heavily debated and discussed in the church, and also holds deep value and meaning to my heart as well. I’m going to share what I’ve learned concerning this subject in the hope that it might help anyone out there who is curious about this topic, or is even in the midst of experiencing it!

The answer is simple. Yes. God is God, He can do whatever He wants! He can choose to show you whatever His purpose and will is concerning your life. If God spoke to people thousands of years ago, He can surely do it now. He doesn’t change. Keep in mind that the ultimate goal in life is not to get married or find a spouse; but to live a life that glorifies God, and leaves a legacy of testimonies that bring honor and glory to His name alone.

Before I dive into it, recognize that maybe it’s not God’s will to show you who you’ll marry. I believe God will confirm whether you should or shouldn’t marry someone, but He doesn’t always have to show you in advance who it will be.

I’ve heard stories of men and women who believed they heard God say someone was meant to be their wife/husband, and then went to tell the other person! First of all, if you truly believe you’ve heard from the Lord concerning something as serious as marriage, your job is to be still, ponder these thoughts in your heart like Mary did, and let God be God and bring it to pass. If you go tell the other person and the time isn’t even right, you could totally freak them out. They might see you as that crazy chick or dude that might just be a tad obsessed…yikes!! Which is not the case at all (hopefully).

There are many things concerning this that you have to be mindful of. You have to make sure that what you believe you’re hearing was in fact from God. Remember, the enemy can be disguised as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14) Not all dreams, visions, or even signs are from God. You need to test a word to make sure it is truly Him. (1 John 4:1) Does it match up with God’s word, or does it contradict it? Are you sure you’re not being persuaded by your own emotions and desires for this other person and confusing your will for God’s will? Pray about all of these things, and ask for confirmation from the Lord. Just like the story of Isaac and Rebekah, (Genesis 24) God will absolutely confirm- He is not the author of confusion, and will not lead you astray!

It can be extremely easy to get exited and even obsessive over this, but please remember that God is a jealous God. The excitement of hearing from God is amazing, but make sure to not let yourself slip into the trap of accidentally making this other person an idol. Of course you won’t intend to, but sometimes our minds can go ahead of God and get the best of us, and even the enemy could try and use it to shift your focus from God onto that other person. Keep your eyes on Jesus! “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33.

You also have to remember that we all have a choice whether to follow God’s path for us or not. God will not force the other person to pursue or marry you, they also have to be in accordance to what God’s will for their life is. I’ve heard stories where people believe God showed them that someone was supposed to be their spouse, but the other person either didn’t pursue them, or ended up marrying someone else instead. That path will most likely lead to brokenness, confusion, and even loss of faith and trust in God- which is very scary! That’s where the enemy wants you. He might come and tell you that God lied to you, you never really heard God in the first place, or maybe you’re just crazy, etc. Your anger, confusion, and vulnerability in these situations can make you an easy target, so it’s vital to stand in faith even when you feel like Job’s wife who said, “Curse God, and die!” (Job 2:9) A bit dramatic, but you get the jist of it! Satan is the father of lies, so please don’t believe this, and just tell him to go back to hell. Focus on Jesus.

If God spoke a word concerning your life, your job is to pray over it, seek confirmation while you pray, and learn to trust that He will do what He says He’ll do. Even pray for the other person as well. Pray that if it’s truly God’s will, they would walk in accordance with what God is trying to do.! It’s not your will that you want remember, make sure you’re submitting it unto Jesus. It won’t be on your timing, and it most definitely won’t be the way you thought it would be, but that’s where faith comes in! If you believe God spoke to you, give the word back to God, and let Him work it out. It’s not your job to make it happen. Again remember, it will not be on your timing! It could be ten months from now, a year from now, or even ten years down the road! He wants you to learn to trust Him. I hope this helps anyone out there.

~ Xo, Rachel.


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