The Subtlety Of Love

I don’t like kids. Oh, so you have a new little baby you say? Aw.. so cute! ..Don’t mind me, I’ll just be on my way rather quickly in case you ask me to hold it. *Runs away.*

You know, it’s funny that I’m not a “kid” person, because I actually want a few of my own one day! ..How does that even work? Anyway, I’ve never been one to want to voluntarily and enthusiastically interact or play with kids; it just wasn’t something I enjoyed doing.

A couple of months ago, I agreed to watch my three year old nephew for the night. Usually my mom is the one who watches him, but this time it was aunties turn! Now while I love him, he can be a bit obnoxious at times..just like any other little boy! I guess that’s what I call kids who like to run around and smack their head into walls, throw tantrums for absolutely no reason, and pick their nose. Let’s be real, little boys can do some of the nastiest things ever, am I right!?

After playing a few games, I put in a movie for us to watch and eased myself onto the sofa. To my surprise, he quietly yet efficiently walked towards me like he was on a mission. He meant business, people. He made his way over to me and perfectly positioned himself on my lap, then pressed his head against my chest ever so gently.

For the first time in my life, I felt such a strong flood of emotion, love and warmth that flowed directly from my heart and transpired into the atmosphere. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled him as if I was protecting or comforting him. We stayed like that for the whole movie.

Even though I’ve never really enjoyed little kids, I’ve always loved my nephews, because they’re family. They’re great kids too, but that subtle gesture of affection and vulnerability opened the eyes of my heart to discover that the wall that had separated me from liking kids began to break down piece by piece. I call it subtle love. It usually comes in unexpected ways, with unsuspecting outcomes.

~Xo, Rachel.

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